We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
