Need sex. Gaining weight.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize