Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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