I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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