nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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