I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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