she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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