At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
