Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
is it fun? or sober?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
