Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
