maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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