There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
