So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
