shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Threesome in a minivan. New low
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At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.