Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
