dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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