I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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