Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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