Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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