I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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