It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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