i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
