# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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