I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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