even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
