Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
