Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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