A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have fence marks all over my body
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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