brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
