did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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