The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im having a threesome with these popsicles
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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