Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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(339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs

Replies (40) Good night (617) Bad night (2642)
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(757): View more from Virginia

You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.

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(757): You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy. http://tfl.nu/hg9j

Replies (81) Good night (2111) Bad night (5110)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?

(828): View more from North Carolina

how high are you?

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(336): do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos? (828): how high are you? http://tfl.nu/9z76

Replies (59) Good night (12527) Bad night (1831)
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(925): View more from California

DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR

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(925): DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR http://tfl.nu/ynfk

Replies (42) Good night (11236) Bad night (1432)
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(254): View more from Texas

There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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(254): There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN. http://tfl.nu/m7t2

Replies (35) Good night (7300) Bad night (1540)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.

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(+44): I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years. http://tfl.nu/naiq

Replies (5) Good night (3012) Bad night (910)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?

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(262): Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/jzba

Replies (5) Good night (2460) Bad night (777)
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(469): View more from Texas

She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.

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(469): She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker. http://tfl.nu/zanh

Replies (8) Good night (1826) Bad night (597)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.

(1+44): View more from

I regret nothing

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(+44): you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop. (1+44): I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/8vxi

Replies (3) Good night (2903) Bad night (1394)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...

(1+44): View more from

That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh

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(+44): You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl... (1+44): That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh http://tfl.nu/agy9

Replies (23) Good night (4389) Bad night (1227)
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(303): View more from Colorado

We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands

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(303): We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands http://tfl.nu/8ws6

Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (934)
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(850): View more from Florida

I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.

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(850): I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl. http://tfl.nu/bohf

Replies (7) Good night (1259) Bad night (484)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.

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(309): I almost lit my balls on fire tonight. http://tfl.nu/1whc

Replies (10) Good night (604) Bad night (1275)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.

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(202): i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw. http://tfl.nu/q0dy

Replies (1) Good night (477) Bad night (346)
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(+61): View more from Australia

yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...

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(+61): yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear... http://tfl.nu/thfz

Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (294)

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