he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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