Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.

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  (508): For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality. http://tfl.nu/clti
  Replies (6) Good night (1435) Bad night (723)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  the new term for farting is butt boxing.

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  (505): the new term for farting is butt boxing. http://tfl.nu/pbdi
  Replies (10) Good night (1029) Bad night (1297)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get

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  (484): When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left (484): you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get http://tfl.nu/33sr
  Replies (45) Good night (1186) Bad night (4306)
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  (714): View more from California

  So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

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  (714): So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life. http://tfl.nu/wgtn
  Replies (32) Good night (1122) Bad night (5729)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.

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  (717): Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think. http://tfl.nu/f6ax
  Replies (26) Good night (5475) Bad night (1633)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.

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  (303): We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework. http://tfl.nu/20mk
  Replies (7) Good night (2006) Bad night (864)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.

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  (240): Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/9wdm
  Replies (21) Good night (1228) Bad night (5068)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.

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  (541): It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost. http://tfl.nu/hkh5
  Replies (2) Good night (935) Bad night (457)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.

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  (785): Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks. http://tfl.nu/e26o
  Replies (8) Good night (559) Bad night (1173)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.

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  (402): the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion. http://tfl.nu/w3kh
  Replies (6) Good night (1123) Bad night (599)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒

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  (540): Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒 http://tfl.nu/mpql
  Replies (4) Good night (880) Bad night (491)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.

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  (970): I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat. http://tfl.nu/w7x2
  Replies (8) Good night (1152) Bad night (473)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.

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  (941): Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door. http://tfl.nu/cryx
  Replies (5) Good night (444) Bad night (680)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least

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  (312): woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least http://tfl.nu/d3yx
  Replies (1) Good night (553) Bad night (359)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was

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  (727): all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was http://tfl.nu/9gyk
  Replies (1) Good night (734) Bad night (170)

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