Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF