Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate