Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.

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  (631): New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled. http://tfl.nu/1807
  Replies (164) Good night (9125) Bad night (888)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning

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  (917): the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning http://tfl.nu/3svo
  Replies (10) Good night (5417) Bad night (655)
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  (631): View more from New York

  4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.

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  (631): 4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised. http://tfl.nu/mwr8
  Replies (7) Good night (999) Bad night (1998)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine

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  (403): You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine http://tfl.nu/d0ou
  Replies (23) Good night (2905) Bad night (1346)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.

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  (713): screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude. http://tfl.nu/sk5p
  Replies (4) Good night (1654) Bad night (1429)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble

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  (301): And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble http://tfl.nu/0x8g
  Replies (7) Good night (2329) Bad night (520)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

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  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (1042) Bad night (427)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"

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  (207): The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!" http://tfl.nu/cz9e
  Replies (6) Good night (410) Bad night (774)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.

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  (504): You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand. http://tfl.nu/3jk2
  Replies (7) Good night (721) Bad night (1629)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter

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  (614): Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter http://tfl.nu/3fce
  Replies (6) Good night (1718) Bad night (606)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.

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  (208): Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order. http://tfl.nu/2umc
  Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (530)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.

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  (708): I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask. http://tfl.nu/zz6r
  Replies (7) Good night (1107) Bad night (472)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does

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  (651): Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business". (651): I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does http://tfl.nu/4wrb
  Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (206)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts

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  (610): Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts http://tfl.nu/c7v2
  Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (210)
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  (+81): View more from

  When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.

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  (+81): When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons. http://tfl.nu/bw9q
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (160)

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