I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.