Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet

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  (850): Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet http://tfl.nu/7t8x
  Replies (9) Good night (743) Bad night (2025)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.

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  (302): Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters. http://tfl.nu/m9v3
  Replies (8) Good night (4065) Bad night (654)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.

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  (717): I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this. http://tfl.nu/8qff
  Replies (6) Good night (5098) Bad night (1073)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.

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  (309): so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished. http://tfl.nu/wbty
  Replies (19) Good night (7349) Bad night (1679)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am

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  (250): They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am http://tfl.nu/0rv3
  Replies (3) Good night (3349) Bad night (1270)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.

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  (647): making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself. http://tfl.nu/as80
  Replies (8) Good night (1308) Bad night (2983)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.

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  (770): We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts. http://tfl.nu/3snk
  Replies (2) Good night (1613) Bad night (571)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them

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  (570): Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them http://tfl.nu/2e8h
  Replies (4) Good night (1035) Bad night (619)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.

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  (617): The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library. http://tfl.nu/8dpw
  Replies (2) Good night (1247) Bad night (955)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.

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  (315): Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline. http://tfl.nu/p7f8
  Replies (4) Good night (515) Bad night (1186)
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  (818): View more from California

  I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record

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  (818): I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record http://tfl.nu/mbk0
  Replies (5) Good night (1253) Bad night (579)
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  (831): View more from California

  I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"

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  (831): I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy" http://tfl.nu/ej7w
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (365)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I'm so there

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  (602): The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast (480): I'm so there http://tfl.nu/rimu
  Replies (1) Good night (1020) Bad night (380)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.

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  (206): No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt. http://tfl.nu/84n0
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (428)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"

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  (248): Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son" http://tfl.nu/st3e
  Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (331)

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