If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.