MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.