Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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  (248) I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet http://tfl.nu/r3zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1231) Bad night (750)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I love black thongs

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  (586): I love black thongs http://tfl.nu/wvjn
  Replies (8) Good night (1611) Bad night (467)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Good. You are like the clit whisperer.

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  (320): Good. You are like the clit whisperer. http://tfl.nu/ycvo
  Replies (26) Good night (6664) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.

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  (209): I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two. http://tfl.nu/goqt
  Replies (14) Good night (5140) Bad night (557)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.

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  (414): You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door. http://tfl.nu/h0ao
  Replies (20) Good night (5200) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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  (805): We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened. http://tfl.nu/qapw
  Replies (20) Good night (9309) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL

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  (260): THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL http://tfl.nu/le0h
  Replies (6) Good night (3017) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.

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  (504): I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/1q7d
  Replies (15) Good night (4418) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.

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  (973): He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come. http://tfl.nu/tnjb
  Replies (2) Good night (2024) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.

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  (225): My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight. http://tfl.nu/a1x3
  Replies (11) Good night (2714) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?

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  (224): We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today? http://tfl.nu/c57g
  Replies (16) Good night (1554) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....

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  (303): As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak..... http://tfl.nu/pe8z
  Replies (1) Good night (929) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was like giving head to a cactus.

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  (412): It was like giving head to a cactus. http://tfl.nu/0gn3
  Replies (14) Good night (458) Bad night (1892)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.

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  (512): He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came. http://tfl.nu/h4s8
  Replies (5) Good night (1457) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...

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  (703): I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1... http://tfl.nu/7tjh
  Replies (2) Good night (1125) Bad night (294)

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