WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?