My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
two words...techno handjob
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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