Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
