I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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