thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
