Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Oh god it's open bar.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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