with your own penis?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize