Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
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if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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