I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Damn victory sex feels great
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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