I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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