tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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