I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Bring me that man meat
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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