She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
