another moral hangover. fuck.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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