Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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