i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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