So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
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