Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
