she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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