Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
they're like a gay fantastic four
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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