Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
