sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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