well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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