Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
