The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Randomize
