why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize